I have an incredibly interesting life!

I just have no idea what to blog about today. Or yesterday. Or the day before. I had an idea for a family picture. We'll probably do that tomorrow. Tomorrow is compost in the garden day. I'm so excited! But serioiusly, the last few days, I've weeded and weeded and weeded. I dug a big hole in the yard with my kids and cleaned my living room and kitchen around thirty times. I know, amazing.

I found this on a joke website :

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.
Traffic Cop: Don't have one?
Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please..
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Traffic Cop: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Traffic Cop: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Traffic Cop: You what!?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The traffic cop is quite stunned.
Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license quizzically.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!
Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

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 Where do people with one leg work? At IHOP

Disgusting things I feel you must know

For about the last seven or eight winters, the backs of my hands have gotten so dry that they itch, crack and bleed. Last week my mother in law suggested I try some tinactin on it. (yes, tough actin) I started putting it on them a few days ago and it is almost gone. Yes, it was FUNGUS on my hands for around eight years..

The other thing I feel you must witness is this...

This morning I found a steaming trail of hot mustard moony puke, all around the living room. I'm becoming less a fan of carpet every single second. I think I'd rather have linolium than carpet. The ugliest linolium you can think of, is what I'd prefer to carpet.

Weekend recap, And some bad jokes.

This weekend we had Easter Egg hunts, AND Luci's glorious birthday party. She is so lucky to have aunt Linda! (so am I) Here are some pictures for you to look at, and some jokes, because that is the way.

This party was like Luci's room threw up into the rest of the house. I still have the puffs hanging in my kitchen. I've actually been less lazy than usual lately too, I just can't bare to take them down. They just make me so happy!

Laffy Taffy Joke #1-  What did the fan say to the other fan? You really blow me away!


Laffy Taffy Joke #2- How does the moon cut his hair?  Eclipse it!


Ahh-hahahahaaaa!!!!!!!! Those were seriously funny.

Easter egg time. :)

We colored some eggs today. For the kids that was probably the only fun part. :( I was running around making my house look like I am an ok housekeeper, all day.

Goosy is two years old!

Today was my little sweeties birthday. We're celebrating it on Saturday with a party but we made a cake and sang to her today too. When we finished she clapped and cheered. She melts me right now. Absolutely everything about her is so darn cute and funny.
Linda came over and we decorated for the party. Yes, she is that organized and prepared. lol. I didn't take any pictures on purpose so that it can be a big surprise on Saturday. And it was REALLY difficult for me to refrain from taking photos. You know how I am. ;)


Here's a joke for yesterday.. this one is from Daniel Tosh.



I have a five-gallon jar at my house I like to fill with change. I don't stop 'til I reach tip-top and that little bell goes off, and I know Cargo Pant Day is here at last, and I dance. And I put the cargo pants on with a belt -- extra tight because I don't want to have an embarrassing situation on such a great day -- and I fill up all the pockets with the change. Then I get a car alarm -- not a car alarm with a car, just a car alarm -- and I hold it to my chest really closely. And then I go walk around the streets of Manhattan, and I wait for the first homeless person to come up to me and say, 'Hey, you got any spare change?' Then, I set the car alarm off: 'You hit the jackpot, mofo!'

Happy Birthday, day!!

This is a picture I just took of Kris. Like I really just walked into the living room and said smile, and then walked back in here and uploaded it. Because, gasp... I forgot my camera at miss Indie's party. Surprise! LOL I'm SURE Toni has all kinds of cute and awesomely photoshopped pictures of the party waiting to post on her blog.
Indie turned 1, awww. Kris turned 33... 33!!!! WOW. That is like OLD! Like, really into adulthood old. But you know what? He still looks 23. I chose wisely didn't I?  I love him so much. I couldn't have been luckier to get him. You know what he's doing at this very second? Finishing playing with the kids, and putting them into bed. On his birthday. While I blog. He's number one. Seriously, never leaving him, ever. :)

wow.

Nothing very exciting happened today.What can I say. I am excited about something though. My little brother is going to start college in the fall. We're both going to take the accuplacer next week, because we are both horrible at math...lol. We're going to try to take the same classes. I'm really so excited about it!. Anyways, that's actually all the news I had. Posting something interesting everyday is hard. I'll try to find a good joke for you tomorrow. ;)

Yesterday..

Oh boy. Yesterday was something. In the morning I did hair, than my awesome mother-in-law let me tag along and get a facial with her and Toni. Oh my gosh, it was so amazing. Sandy is seriously the coolest mom in law ever. No, I will never be leaving Kris, so nobody get excited and think you can have her. ;)

THEN, at four, I started cooking for a pretty last minute dinner for Kris. As I frantically cooked ( and chopped the tip of my thumb in half) I thought about all the people I SHOULD have invited... DOH. Yeah, so if I didn't tell you about it, I meant to. It wasn't a big to do, but if I would have planned correctly, it could have been. So one more thing to add to my list of things to improve on. Become an organizer, and get better at planning. Oh, and use my dang camera!! Holy cow, I'm kind of a mess I'm deciding. None-the-less it was fun, but the day left me no time to blog. Please forgive. :)

Eli is going to Kindergarten!

I registered Eli today for Kindergarten. I can't believe he is that old already! Well, they had this orientation where they took them all around in little groups and showed them the school and did these...things. I don't know what they did. But Eli got shy and wouldn't go. Poor kid, he is going to have to get over that. It was pretty sad actually. He left with his group and then returned like a minute later totally crying. So we took our own tour and played in the special Kindergarten play ground. Probably seventy percent of the people there were in my ward. It was pretty cool.
Oh and talk about cool, this school is awesome! It's all spacey. There are gigantic planets hanging from the ceiling in the library, and some of the windows look like space, if that makes sense. There are all these glowing signs above hallways and doors that remind me of star trek, or a disneyland ride line. It's a really nice school. I'm so excited! Pretty sure I'm way more excited than Eli is. But he's warming up to it. :)

Easter party day...

What is wrong with me? I forgot my camera, yet AGAIN. BAHH!  So, there will be no pictures of the cute party that the boys got to go to for pre-school today. Seriously, I am SO LAME! Hopefully knowing that I hve to update the blog will help me stop forgetting in the future... hopefully. Anyways, it was really fun and we all ate way too much candy today.
We were out in the yard, and the kids made there way over to our neighbors yard, cause ours is really boring, and I met one of the backyard neighbors. She was really cool. As I got talking to her I learned that she had 5 kids. A seven year old boy and TWO yes two sets of twins!!! One set is almost three and the other set is 16 months. Can you imagine the horror? She described for me something that had happened that day, one of the twins had taken off their diaper in the crib and smeared poo all over the crib and crib tent. Then she went on to describe trying to clean it up with 5 little kids screaming at her. POOR WOMAN! Seriously, my heart goes out her her.
Anyways, tomorrow I will strive to have a post with photos.

My wild girl.

This is a perfect picture of Luci. She pretty much always has marker on some part of her body. If you want to pick her up she resists you. If you can't pick her up she climbs up you and hangs on you. She is always yelling. She is intense. Even the way she breaths is intense. With all of this, finding her dolls, strollers and dishes all around the house is endearing. I love my Luci-girl. :)

Soccer!

Eli and Oli had their first game yesterday. It was So cute! Eli got it, in fact he was so good that he could pick his nose while chasing after the ball. Ha-ha. Oli on the other hand was in his own world, we predicted right. Only, not only was he in his own world but he kept doing these dramatic falls, sometimes in the middle of a play, and tackling other kids. He wasn't doing it to me mean, he's just a weirdo. It's hard to explain the way he randomly chose to hang on other children and make them fall down, or just run into them. Honestly, I don't condone him hurting other children in any way, but it was really funny/strange.

I'm counting this as yesterdays post. I'm not cheating. I make up the rules. :)

Tribute.

It's a cryin-shame that I didn't post yesterday. I inserted cryin cause I hate the word "shame". For shame. You should be ashamed of yourself. That's a shame. That's a real shame. I don't know for some reason that word makes my blood boil. Yeah, so anyways.  Yesterday I actually did something blog worthy. I hung out with my amazingly talented sister in law, Linda. She is the queen of all things domestic and crafty. Obviously, we did crafts, and she showed me some of her party puff making ways. Two things I admire most about Linda:

1. She is completely and totally focused on details. (Something I struggle with)
2. She is completely and totally modest about her awesomeness. (Also, something I struggle with)


For selfish reasons I want her to go into business as a party planner or something of the sort. Mainly so I can be her assistant and sample all the food.
A couple weeks ago she was like, "Steph, can I help you throw Luci's birthday party? I have all this stuff and ideas for it." Uhm, yes, yes you can. So that's what we were working on. I hope she isn't onry at me for posting this, she doesn't like this kind of attention. But I had to pay tribute.

I forgot.

You knew it was coming. Honestly, I thought it would be here sooner. But guess what? I thought of a game. If I forget to post, I have to post a joke the next day, plus a normal post. K, here goes, this one is by Lewis Black..


We came up with Earth Day so we would have one day every year that would remind us what planet we were living on.

This made me laugh. :)

My sparkling little girl.

Luci loves lotions and nail polishes and hairspray and perfume. She is a girl to be sure. This morning she added desitin to her morning routine.

The Horror...

First I screamed bloody-murder. Then I fell on the ground and I wept. The kids thought it was hilarious.. I did not.

Oli decided the living room rug needed something else.

I love rainy days!!

I love them so much. Especially in between sunny days. I have been giddy all day. That might just be the diet coke though. :)  We decided that it might be fun to "bowl" in the front hall way today. It was fun for about five minutes and then Luci decided that it was funnest to knock the cups over the second Eli and I got them up, and then laugh her head off. She thinks she's way funny. Seriously, she entertains herself.

 Then I was like. Oh yeah, I should do something to blog about. So I did this.

The blog thing might be a good thing for me. I might just finish all my projects that I have started and then abandoned. I can't very well start something and leave it unfinished and post it. Hmmm, finishing projects, this will be new for me. :)

This dresser in Luci's room has been begging me to paint it yellow. So today I said, "today's the day you will be made yellow."
As I was getting the paint and stuff ready to paint it, the ceiling at the top of the stairs said, "Hey! What about me? I've been like this for like five months!" It's actually been more like six, but I didn't say anything. This is the wall that spoke to me.

I said, "but blue wall, you're so scary and tall!" He was and didn't say anything else. 

Then I heard another voice. It was the wall behind the computer upstairs. "Paint me! Paint me!" He said. "I'm not scary and tall!" I said, "we'll see." I heard green wall mumble some curse words. 

I got to work on the dresser. I dumped out all the clothes into a corner and took out the drawers. Luci thought it was pretty fun. Her hair looks like that because she had just returned from a motorcycle ride.

I painted.

And then I waited. And while I waited I painted the green wall. And he was happy.

Oh, dresser, I do like you yellow!

Luci's room makes me happy. I wish that it was acceptable for an adult woman to have this color in her room.

Blue wall is still mad at me. He'll have to wait though because finishing him truly makes me fear for my life.

Just another day.

Here is the photo of the lawn that I'm digging up. Don't judge, it's not a fun job! I also thought that you might like to know that tonight for dinner I made pasta with goat cheese sauce and spinach, and Kris... LIKED IT!! Yay!This is kind of turning into a food journal. LOL. There isn't a lot else to say about today. We played outside and I weeded. Kind of the same as yesterday, but different.

Oh Boy! Four days in a row!

Today was another normal day. The boys and I practiced kicking the soccer ball to each other. We looked for earth worms and rolly-pollies. We rode bikes. We rode up to Toni's but alas, they weren't home. We planted seed for the garden, and I managed to get a good chunk of the grass that is impeding on said garden ripped up. I'll take a picture of that tomorrow. It's actually a much bigger bugger than you might think. Here's a photo of some of our start thingy's . Something to look at.

Today was a good day.

We had some of Kris's family over for dinner tonight. Dale, Theo, Kim, Toni, Jake, Piper, Beck and Indie, and also our backyard neighbors who happen to be Related to Kris. The Woman is Theo's niece. So that was fun. I'm working on my cooking skills, the roast was not great, but I'll tel you what was, this... look up. Yeah, the recipe is called "The best coffee cake ever." It lives up to it.

These are the lemon cookies I made last night. (what's left of them) They're pretty good too. But not AS good.

This is what the boys do, probably more than I should allow. They LOVE to play the wii with Kris. Hey, they're spending time with dad!!

Ha! I remembered!

This is pretty much just a post so that I can stick with my goal.  Today was one of those days that I didn't do anything that I had planned to do. It was still a good day. We went to the mall and had some Chick fillet with Sandy and I made some lemon sandwich cookies that I found on Martha's website. I'll do better tomorrow. :)

Oh my gosh, my kids are so much cooler than yours. Seriously, no doubt in my mind. No really, your kids are kind of lame.

This is how Luci wants to dress all the time now. The princess dresses or her princess pjs. Don't get me wrong, I think it's super cute. But what isn't cute is that just a few minutes ago, she took off this dress and her diaper and pooped on the floor. NOT COOL. What kind of princess does that?!

Eli insisted that I take his picture while he "did rock and roll". This was the only one that didn't turn out fuzzy.

Oli is showcasing his super powers. Not sure what power.